just let me catch you dL..

Isang Mabilis: Happy

Bigla ko na lang naramdaman, masaya pala ang buhay ko ng lumayo ako. I've learned to appreciate things around me. lam mo yun. yung tipong everytime na may mag memessage sayo nakakapagusap kayo ng maayos di katulad dati na sobrang saglit ko lang silang nakakausap at nakakasama. di ko naman pinaikot mundo ko sa kanya pero syempre. minsan lang kami magkita at magkausap. why not do the best out of it diba? pero dahil naglayuan nga kami, naging maluwag mundo ko. I realized that I really have so much spare time. nakapagfreelance pa nga ako. at iwas stress na din. although I'm missing her so much right now, masaya naman ako. I'm happy being alone again. alone as in alone. not loner, I'm just alone. marami din akong nakilalang tao ngayon. dati dami kong iniiwasang lakad. masaya. sana masaya din siya ngayon. kasi masaya ko. unfair naman kung di siya masaya diba? ayun.

isang mabilis:areyoumak

Maybe, Maybe not Part ONE

Hmm.. as you can see, I easily get bored. from everyday routines to unexpected getaway with my friends, recently I've been busy at work, doing articles that I really didn't and can't Imagine that I'll be doing for the rest of my life. but I have no choice. It's the field of work I'm into.

These articles keeps me busy from getting bored everyday. I can write things for a certain niche in a couple of hours leaving my thoughts away for awhile. but these past few days something bugged me a lot. these recent incident with my ex. When I'm going home after shift I was standing at the bus stop. as you know I'm the type of guy who likes to observe things from far places, I keep on looking at this certain chick that I saw at the other side of the road. yep, she's my type. with my birds eye view nothing can escape. hahaha! and as the chick gets near, I'm getting these flashbacks behind my head then the word "IF" keeps ringing on my mind.

What If....

I realize something is wrong with me. I met and dated a couple of girls these past few months after we broke up. nothing really last that long. It's more of a Hohol (hangout, hangout lang) and Momol (Make out, Make out lang). and what I'm looking for is a bond that will last, but it really is a fast pace kind of a getting to know each other then i get bored and let go of them that easily. i told myself that there really is a problem with me after reflecting on my thoughts.

the problem with me is i keep on saying that I don't want a commitment, i just want a partner, someone that will never let me down and someone that i can count on. but it really isn't what i wanted. what i wanted was her. all i really wanted was to be with her again, just for the last time.

I just want to talk with her for the last time. we need to catch up and patch things up before something drastically bad happens. a worst case scenario, a devils incarnation, end of the world or armageddon comes.

wtf.. what I'm really trying to say is that i keep on pretending that i have forgotten all of what we had shared and i really never had moved on for a year and a month. I don't know why but she keeps on poping in my head. i even had a dream with her.

I really don't know what to do now and i have been getting these thoughts of "what if's"

what will happen next? Maybe I don't want to know. or maybe not. I really don't know what to do now. now that i know why am i acting like a douche and a jerk to every person i met. wtf.

this would be the part one.. i have many unexpected encounters with her these past few days so bear with me.. hhaha! ;P

Am I the only one thinking about this?

Hello! - The 1st text message that i received and told myself that i like her.
Good Morning :*- Is the 1st text message i received in the morning and made my day.

then it stopped...

I met this girl in a social networking site. when i first saw her. i said to myself, "WOW, she's my ideal girl" yah, i really said that in my room. as you know my type is very simple, for appearance/look she must have a brace. i don't know why but to me, girls with braces means that they really take care of their teeth, and braces were so cool! i want to have that someday but our family dentist said that i don't need that cause i have a nice set of teeth, he just told me to stop chewing bones of chicken, pork and beef and quit my smoking habits, but i can't help it. i like those things :) 2nd thing is the lips, i don't care wtf is the shape of her lips but if she puts on her red lipstick everything will be perfect. and lastly, the hair, it should be at length of her shoulder and walla! I GOT YOU MY PERFECT GIRL! haha! seriously though, i like her so much on first sight.

I wont tell you all the details how i got her number (seriously, i don't want to brag :D) we exchanged messages on various social networking sites and in mobile phone. I can say we really have shared some connection from there.

then we met, it's saturday afternoon and when i saw her i was mesmerized. she really is my type. hahaha! disregard the braces, length of hair and the lips. yeah, she really is my type. because of her personality. she's too strong at the same time down to earth. she even toured me on her school which is i really didn't know why i walked her down there hahaha!

again we exchanged messages that day, then after a couple of days, it was gone. like a wind passed down on a field of wheat and corn.

I don't know what really happened. Suddenly it just stopped. no but's and no why's. it just stopped.

She told me that she was still waiting until she graduate her degree before she commits into a relationship and i don't want to interfere with that. my plan is to court her after she finish her studies so for now i just want us to be friends. I know some other guys will stand out cause if i wait for that long before i do something someone will get her heart but i don't want to interfere or to change her principle. and i want it to be fair not to brainwash her mind and force her to commit in a relationship.

the thing is, I'm thinking that she's mad at me. why? i don't know. and it sucks. we really stopped communicating with each other. AND IT'S NOT EASY, I'M GOING CRAZY! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?! hahaha! :P (a line from somedaydream's song christmas in purple)

seriously though, It's hard for me cause i really like this girl but i don't know what happened to us. at first i thought she was just testing and playing some girl's mind games with me but as the days passed by, it's getting worst.

I really assumed that she like me too because of the topics and the conversations we had in the past days. but now, i think she.. oh well, maybe i need to move on? am i being a loner or nerd? hahaha! ahh shoot, i just want to let this one out so that i can focus on my work and the things i need to do. cause i really think of this everyday. hahaha!

anyway it's another year. let's start this year right, shall we? :) HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Friend will never do that

What the eff is a friend? from http://dictionary.reference.com a friend is:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5.( initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

On http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend:
A friend is a person that someone likes or knows. People who are friends talk to each other and spend time together. They also help each other when they are in trouble. Friends are people that can be looked up to and trusted. A friend is one who admires a person's skill and helps or encourages them to make the right choices.
People sometimes call their closest friend their "best friend".
If a person become very good friends with someone of the opposite sex, they are called their boyfriend or girlfriend. This means that they like them very much, and have formed a relationship and have started dating. Women often use the word girlfriend when referring to their close female friends. If you have many things in common you refer to them as soul sisters. (I think this is for the female perception.)

for me? a friend is the a person that will understand you whatever the circumstances are.

I have ended all my connections to that kid, what i meant by connection is all of his mutual friends. i have ended it with them, so basically I'm gonna start my whole new life without them from now on. erasing all ties with them even though they were my only true friends that i have.

let me narrate what happened. it was friday night when he called me if i can go with them and i said i can follow them at the venue, it was our christmas party that day too so i need to stay at the venue. i called my friend back to confirm if it's sure that they'll be there at that time and said that yes so i told them that i'll try to follow after our party that day. then i got a text from a friend whom i like and told me that her friend didn't show up and i said i can hangout with her because i'm not that far from where she is waiting for her friend. then i called my friend that called me at our party that i can't come because i need to go with my other friend because she's alone and it's dangerous here in manila to drive all the way to her friends house. then my friend texted me "tang ina mo" (which is the english for A hole or something like that). i got offended of course and so told him in a well mannered way that i said i'll try to follow them there at 3am. after that he asked me if i can come and said "i can't, now this is the time for you to get mad at me, sorry for what happened" i know he's pissed off about that but i'm also pissed of on what he said to me that day.

then this day comes. this very moment when i opened my FB account, a saw his wall post saying "kung makapag wallpost akala mo sobrang gwapo e. akala mo ang daming babae e. puro wallpost lang wala namang maipakita." wtf. i know i shouldn't react on this BS but i can't help it. he's a mother effin' kid. if he's mad and angry of what i did to them last friday night he must tell that on my effin' face not post it in his wall. or he can post that on my wall and i'll be sure i'll like that wallpost.

I'm really furious right now and i want to punch that kid on the face. after everything i did for him. wtf.

from now on i won't regard him as a friend. for the rest of my life. seriously.

All in one day: Two jobs

I really can't imagine that i will have two jobs in one day. it's really not that easy to handle many things. at first i thought that it's okay cause i managed my schedule perfectly. the 1st job was in makati and my shift is 8am-5pm and after that i'll go to my other job that was in mandaluyong/shaw boulevard and my shift there is 7pm-4am. i got a lot of sleep cause i did my work on my 2nd job in the other company and in my 2nd job all i did was surf and sleep. (I'm getting paid to sleep LOL). but this week is different. we had a lot of things to discuss on both of my jobs. we did a lot of changes in one of the website that i am handling and the other one is training new employees to a technique that i did in my last company i had. i'm really burned out right now and i want to quit on one of my job. but the thing is there's an advantage on the other one and there's another advantages on the other too. what i don't like on both of my job is the shift. the morning shift is okay but it's a little too early for me the other one is too damn late and i can't chill with my friends because of that. but they share something in common. the girls. hahaha ! both of my jobs got this super hot chick and i can't stop looking at them. they're so hot i can't even touch them. hahaha ! on to the topic, what i did is wrong, i get full of myself and thought that i can do everything. so lesson learned for me here. the thing is now that i will let go of my other job, how can i support myself? it looks like i'll be going back home in my parents house just to cut all my expenses. plus i enrolled for this graduate school that i can't even attend to.. wtf ! so i'm really gonna let go of the other one..

and why did i get and accepted these two jobs? it's because of ........ :) seriously i want to get more busy so that i can't think of anything else. just work. but it ricochet back to me and i got more wasted, stressed and burned out..

so don't get two jobs.. unless one is home based and another one is company based. and never ever accept things that you cannot handle. you'll just get more effin' tired of everything.