Maybe, Maybe not Part ONE

Hmm.. as you can see, I easily get bored. from everyday routines to unexpected getaway with my friends, recently I've been busy at work, doing articles that I really didn't and can't Imagine that I'll be doing for the rest of my life. but I have no choice. It's the field of work I'm into.

These articles keeps me busy from getting bored everyday. I can write things for a certain niche in a couple of hours leaving my thoughts away for awhile. but these past few days something bugged me a lot. these recent incident with my ex. When I'm going home after shift I was standing at the bus stop. as you know I'm the type of guy who likes to observe things from far places, I keep on looking at this certain chick that I saw at the other side of the road. yep, she's my type. with my birds eye view nothing can escape. hahaha! and as the chick gets near, I'm getting these flashbacks behind my head then the word "IF" keeps ringing on my mind.

What If....

I realize something is wrong with me. I met and dated a couple of girls these past few months after we broke up. nothing really last that long. It's more of a Hohol (hangout, hangout lang) and Momol (Make out, Make out lang). and what I'm looking for is a bond that will last, but it really is a fast pace kind of a getting to know each other then i get bored and let go of them that easily. i told myself that there really is a problem with me after reflecting on my thoughts.

the problem with me is i keep on saying that I don't want a commitment, i just want a partner, someone that will never let me down and someone that i can count on. but it really isn't what i wanted. what i wanted was her. all i really wanted was to be with her again, just for the last time.

I just want to talk with her for the last time. we need to catch up and patch things up before something drastically bad happens. a worst case scenario, a devils incarnation, end of the world or armageddon comes.

wtf.. what I'm really trying to say is that i keep on pretending that i have forgotten all of what we had shared and i really never had moved on for a year and a month. I don't know why but she keeps on poping in my head. i even had a dream with her.

I really don't know what to do now and i have been getting these thoughts of "what if's"

what will happen next? Maybe I don't want to know. or maybe not. I really don't know what to do now. now that i know why am i acting like a douche and a jerk to every person i met. wtf.

this would be the part one.. i have many unexpected encounters with her these past few days so bear with me.. hhaha! ;P