Today It's a very special day for myself, my family, and my friends. I have a big interview for one of the biggest advertising company that is based in McKinley Hill and It's my cousin and my friend's graduation day, and with the same time. wtf, here it goes. I have an interview for this company which will be my biggest break as a web developer, I had an interview with them via phone and asked me to come over on their site last week, I think I passed the interview and the assessment that is why I was called back to go there again at 8am. sadly, I didn't went there, I overslept, hehe, so I rescheduled my interview but they didn't replied so, there goes my ticket of being a successful web developer and still stuck in being a SEO Specialist (which now bores me because I've been doing it for 3-4yrs). I woke up at 9:30am, pretty much the same, Opened my pc, checked my phones and I got plenty of messages and missed calls from my girl (I still haven't replied to her messages so she must be really pissed off right now) went to my stylist which is NOT AVAILABLE today and got a haircut from this guy that's named as "FERGIE" which does not suits him well, It was all done at 1:30pm and I need to be on my cousin's place at 2-3pm to help and prepare foods that will be served to their effin' visitors. (yeah, I know how cook and that's only the greatest skill I have) It wasn't supposed to be this until my cousin called last night and plead for my help which pretty much I can't say no because they needed my help, I'm a yes man btw hehe. and now I'm tired and I still need to go to my friend's graduation party and I'm so tired right now because I'm not used in doing so many things in one day. as Sarah Walker said to Chuck "one mission at a time". btw I became the photographer of the party so I have all their cameras so this is really tiring for me.
This is life but, It's a big day for us, I mean for them. well, I got an achievement today, I got a haircut from "Fergie" who's been hitting on me from the moment I stepped on Fix's front door. I really don't like having a haircut so this must be an achievement. hehe.. anyway, CONGRATULATIONS BATCH OF 2012! WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF HAVING TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES, BEING THRIFT and NOT HAVING YOUR OWN TIME! hehe. GOODLUCK PEOPLE!! :D
Monday, March 12, 2012
Maybe, Maybe not Part TWO
It's been a long time since I last wrote the 1st part of this. This time I'll continue my story.
It was the end of my shift, there I was waiting for the elevator to come up, there was so many people waiting that time cause I got off to work on the time that is the end of shift of all the employee on that floor.
I stood near the fire hydrant with my earphones on, I'm always on shuffle when I'm using my music player. then it played. a song that she gave me, brings back memories so I didn't skipped the song and I'm enjoying the song so I listened to it. after that, another song from her played, yeah, 2 in a row that's bs but it happened then another, this time a song that only her friends knew cause it was a song from her friend that has a band. that song really brings back our memories, that song reminded me on how I got and accepted our game of chase. I did everything the book and my experience has to offer, I played the part of I don't care but I really do, I became the boy who tell all the sweet things just to please her, I did all her errands and favor that she asked me. I pretty much did everything for her. But at the end, all of those things means nothing at all. It's hard cause back then I really don't have someone who I can run to, to talk with, to be with. My friends really never asked me how's my life there in Cavite. no one really cares about me at that time. And at that time all I really had was her. I'm not really the type of person who'll mingle with everybody. I'm just a quiet boy at the corner observing peoples action and laugh at the flaws that I'm seeing. not that I'm an outcast or a loner, I just enjoy staring at people and observing things that they're doing.
then the elevator opened. I was on the 30th floor of our building and the elevator is full, we were like sardines packed in can but the we got down to the lobby fast, then the door opened. I saw a girl who's got the same hair color as her, at first I thought that she's her, but i got to my senses and I'm just imagining things. really, I really thought that it was her that time. I saw her face at that girl but when she passed by me her face changed. wtf, it's this kind of moment when you're thinking of a person and wanted to see her but you can't. (thanks for giving me this restraining order sis).
then as I walk to the bus stop I thought I saw her again, it was at the McDo. This girl stood there but I never saw her face, same height as her, same hair length and same hair color. I was stunned that time. and as I reach for my pack of cigarettes my sister called. then I answered it and the girl began to fade away into my thoughts.
I really thought at that time that she was that girl. I knew it by the way she move as she stood there at the front of McDo..
This time I'm really in a fucked up situation. why cause it's almost a year at that time when that happened. I don't really know why I keep on thinking about her all these time. I had a couple of dates these past few weeks and yes, I've been going out but I really never got the chance to do things or make those "hangout" be a date.
I think I'm still in love with her..
It was the end of my shift, there I was waiting for the elevator to come up, there was so many people waiting that time cause I got off to work on the time that is the end of shift of all the employee on that floor.
I stood near the fire hydrant with my earphones on, I'm always on shuffle when I'm using my music player. then it played. a song that she gave me, brings back memories so I didn't skipped the song and I'm enjoying the song so I listened to it. after that, another song from her played, yeah, 2 in a row that's bs but it happened then another, this time a song that only her friends knew cause it was a song from her friend that has a band. that song really brings back our memories, that song reminded me on how I got and accepted our game of chase. I did everything the book and my experience has to offer, I played the part of I don't care but I really do, I became the boy who tell all the sweet things just to please her, I did all her errands and favor that she asked me. I pretty much did everything for her. But at the end, all of those things means nothing at all. It's hard cause back then I really don't have someone who I can run to, to talk with, to be with. My friends really never asked me how's my life there in Cavite. no one really cares about me at that time. And at that time all I really had was her. I'm not really the type of person who'll mingle with everybody. I'm just a quiet boy at the corner observing peoples action and laugh at the flaws that I'm seeing. not that I'm an outcast or a loner, I just enjoy staring at people and observing things that they're doing.
then the elevator opened. I was on the 30th floor of our building and the elevator is full, we were like sardines packed in can but the we got down to the lobby fast, then the door opened. I saw a girl who's got the same hair color as her, at first I thought that she's her, but i got to my senses and I'm just imagining things. really, I really thought that it was her that time. I saw her face at that girl but when she passed by me her face changed. wtf, it's this kind of moment when you're thinking of a person and wanted to see her but you can't. (thanks for giving me this restraining order sis).
then as I walk to the bus stop I thought I saw her again, it was at the McDo. This girl stood there but I never saw her face, same height as her, same hair length and same hair color. I was stunned that time. and as I reach for my pack of cigarettes my sister called. then I answered it and the girl began to fade away into my thoughts.
I really thought at that time that she was that girl. I knew it by the way she move as she stood there at the front of McDo..
This time I'm really in a fucked up situation. why cause it's almost a year at that time when that happened. I don't really know why I keep on thinking about her all these time. I had a couple of dates these past few weeks and yes, I've been going out but I really never got the chance to do things or make those "hangout" be a date.
I think I'm still in love with her..
Monday, March 5, 2012
I'm way over my head right now
It's 1:46am on March 6, 2012. I really can't sleep.
This time I've been thinking about her. you know, the girl who I told everyone that she's "the one". yeah. I've been thinking about her the whole time. since the end of my shift, when I rode the jeep, walked through nagtahan bridge, and when I got home and lay down on my trusted bed, who's been loyal to me ever since.
This time it's different. I wrote about this girl who've I dated and she's not the real deal. I just want her company and I have no feelings for her. I'm sure of it this time.
I like her qualities. she's spontaneous, she's impulsive like me, and we're pretty much the same, at all aspects. the way we want to express ourselves, the dress and shirt we wore, the type of things we like to do. we were pretty much the same. and It's not right.
what I have learned for myself is that I keep on saying to everybody that I really got over her but in reality, I don't. I'm just escaping for the truth. I really made all my dates a getaway from reality that i can't really get off to.
I messed up. I'm too careful not to do things that can make us be apart, but because of that, I've become a sissy, a girl, a pussy. at that time, I'm the girl.
I'm not really that kind of guy, who will go all the way home to manila in a 4-6hrs drive but I did it. I don't buy things for a girl which is not practical and logical for us to have, that's not me but I did it. I'd do anything for her at that time because we were too far away and that what's makes me do those things. cause I know what it feels like to not be on a person's birthday. to not be at a person's side when she was really down. to not be able to help her do her passport cause it's making her crazy about what to put on it. to be able not to hug her when it's raining hard outside. yeah, I'm not that guy to be with her all the time because I'm too far from her. to say sorry eventhough I didn't do anything odd or a mistake. and that's why I did everything to work things out.
She's still the apple of my eye. I still smell her perfume on my pillow and sheets, I still listen to her songs. I still browse her pictures on that small pink lcd thing that her "officemate" gave her. I still love her from the bottom of my heart and this time I'm not gonna lie to myself, I still do want her in my life.
yeah I know this sucks. to love somebody who's not really not that into me. but you know what. that's love. to do it unconditionally is it's best quality. you see, you can love anybody, even if they really don't care about it, you'd still love them. that's what's great about loving somebody. you can make a goal for it. what I'm doing for that feelings is to shape my life. to someday see her, maybe in her home abroad, having a wonderful life, and maybe, just maybe start all over again, but that's a 0.01% of 100%. in other words, it's BS.
I have this letter which is I really don't know what to do to it and why I still have it when my wallet is snatched from me (I hid all my personal stuff in my wallet). I wrote it on the day that we broke up. actually, she really thought me how to write. which is what my job is right now. she shaped my life, she changed it. she made me the man who I am right now.
And that's why I'm very thankful for her. And that's why I still love her. She made me do things that I really thought I can't do. But I messed up.
She's happy right now, eventhough I don't really know what's happening to her (I really sucked at lying, Cyberstalking, how beautiful is it?). I know she's happy, and I'm happy for her too. that's love, to be happy for a person even though you think that you should be with her right now. I'm happy for her now.
This time I've been thinking about her. you know, the girl who I told everyone that she's "the one". yeah. I've been thinking about her the whole time. since the end of my shift, when I rode the jeep, walked through nagtahan bridge, and when I got home and lay down on my trusted bed, who's been loyal to me ever since.
This time it's different. I wrote about this girl who've I dated and she's not the real deal. I just want her company and I have no feelings for her. I'm sure of it this time.
I like her qualities. she's spontaneous, she's impulsive like me, and we're pretty much the same, at all aspects. the way we want to express ourselves, the dress and shirt we wore, the type of things we like to do. we were pretty much the same. and It's not right.
what I have learned for myself is that I keep on saying to everybody that I really got over her but in reality, I don't. I'm just escaping for the truth. I really made all my dates a getaway from reality that i can't really get off to.
I messed up. I'm too careful not to do things that can make us be apart, but because of that, I've become a sissy, a girl, a pussy. at that time, I'm the girl.
I'm not really that kind of guy, who will go all the way home to manila in a 4-6hrs drive but I did it. I don't buy things for a girl which is not practical and logical for us to have, that's not me but I did it. I'd do anything for her at that time because we were too far away and that what's makes me do those things. cause I know what it feels like to not be on a person's birthday. to not be at a person's side when she was really down. to not be able to help her do her passport cause it's making her crazy about what to put on it. to be able not to hug her when it's raining hard outside. yeah, I'm not that guy to be with her all the time because I'm too far from her. to say sorry eventhough I didn't do anything odd or a mistake. and that's why I did everything to work things out.
She's still the apple of my eye. I still smell her perfume on my pillow and sheets, I still listen to her songs. I still browse her pictures on that small pink lcd thing that her "officemate" gave her. I still love her from the bottom of my heart and this time I'm not gonna lie to myself, I still do want her in my life.
yeah I know this sucks. to love somebody who's not really not that into me. but you know what. that's love. to do it unconditionally is it's best quality. you see, you can love anybody, even if they really don't care about it, you'd still love them. that's what's great about loving somebody. you can make a goal for it. what I'm doing for that feelings is to shape my life. to someday see her, maybe in her home abroad, having a wonderful life, and maybe, just maybe start all over again, but that's a 0.01% of 100%. in other words, it's BS.
I have this letter which is I really don't know what to do to it and why I still have it when my wallet is snatched from me (I hid all my personal stuff in my wallet). I wrote it on the day that we broke up. actually, she really thought me how to write. which is what my job is right now. she shaped my life, she changed it. she made me the man who I am right now.
And that's why I'm very thankful for her. And that's why I still love her. She made me do things that I really thought I can't do. But I messed up.
She's happy right now, eventhough I don't really know what's happening to her (I really sucked at lying, Cyberstalking, how beautiful is it?). I know she's happy, and I'm happy for her too. that's love, to be happy for a person even though you think that you should be with her right now. I'm happy for her now.
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