The "IF" Phase

"IF" a word that is made to think of what should and could have happened in the future. In a relationship, you can think of anything about the future. You'll share it to your love one and make decisions about your future with them, but when things got worst and you ended everything with that someone, you'll have to think over everything again. with or without that person, It is really up to you if you can make things work or get on with your life. But this is the most tragic and dramatic part of moving on. This thing lingers to your mind and will make you think of getting back with your special someone regardless of how absurd they did to you back then. This will make you feel weak without that person and will make you think you're useless alone. But that doesn't mean that you can't get through from that phase. Friends will make you feel better, Talk to them. If you have something on your mind, tell them what it is. They'll make it sure that you are on the right track and not lingering in the memories you've created with. I have gone through it, but without any help of anybody, just by myself. It's hard and though to handle those feelings inside that you want to let go without someone who's willing to listen to your dramatic speech. But I got passed that. And when you got your head straight those "If's" you have will be gone. Just think about it, you're just looking back on things you had on that certain point in time. those are just promises to keep the relationship going, those are your goals as a future married couple. those are just things that will never be done without the other one. Remember, you can't make those things alone because It's the things you both want to have in the end of the run, in the end of the game of chase. Unless one of you locked it in and risked everything for the things you have it's just a promise that will be made by both partners. The If phase really is the hard part of moving on. you'll just keep remembering things you both said to each other but you can go through it. those are just words, without actions they are useless.

Hard Decisions

I have thought about this very recently and I still don't have the answer. I have shifted or changed my career and pursued my I.T. profession. yeah. I have been a Creative designer for 3months now and I'm still not sure what I really want. I thought that when I pursue my field of expertise I would be happy. but I'm not. I still don't know what do I want to do. My relatives had offered me to go abroad and stay at their place, My aunt had offered me to work for this Big Company that she had many connections to, My mom had told me that if I want to study she'll support me. My father, a man of few words told me that if I there's something I want to do I must do it so that I wont regret that in whole life. The point here is I have many options and with these options, I can't really decide what to do. They have given me a lot of things just to make me happy but they are making things not easy for me to decide what do I really want. I really want to go abroad just to experience how to live and work there, I really want to study again and choose what I really want, and I really want to work in a big company just to experience how to handle a team/department and show my leadership skills, But I'm still undecided. Now I don't know what do I need to do for me to get motivated. I'm so confused that I don't know what's the next move I'm gonna do. I want to leap to the next level but my instincts didn't want to do it. Maybe I'm afraid to do things because I know that by some point in time I will fail in my chosen path of career. I don't really know what to do now and I really don't think those are my best options. They really have given me good choices but I don't think I will excel on those things. I want to grow career wise and personal wise but I'm really afraid to fail everything. Now I really don't know what I really want to do. Given the circumstances that everyone is supporting what I will do for myself. I'm confused. I need to think straight now. and I need a break.